The concept of a new years resolution is great. It's an opportunity to reflect, focus and determine what's important in our lives.
When done correctly, setting a new years resolution can set a course for the year and even your life.
We know that's not always the way it goes.
For many people who set resolutions, January looks something like this:
Week 1, full steam ahead.
Week 2, with a little bit of self motivation the dream is still alive.
Week 3, some other thing is starting to become more appealing.
Week 4, "What goal did I have again? Oh yea. I'll get back to it, I swear."
Have you done that before? What was your resolution? How long did you "stick with it"?
Why is it so easy to quit on something that was so important at one time?
Change is hard. For many the pain of change is not as bad as the pain of staying the same. It's much more comfortable and easy to not face that pain, even if we have to live with another one. "It's not that bad..." we rationalize giving up. But before even reaching that point, is another, bigger reason that resolutions are given up on.
People quit on their resolutions and goals so easily because the resolutions weren't fully developed or developed correctly. A poorly constructed resolution will lead to early abandonment, a lack of commitment and fulfillment. Establishing a resolution correctly leads to long term adherence and a greater likelihood of success.
If you're sick of quitting on your resolutions, giving up on your goals, and really want accomplishment this year, contact us for a free consultation to set up a plan and get started.
Let's use an example to highlight the problems and solutions.; Resolution: Go to the gym, eat healthy and lose weight.
Problem 1: This is a weak resolution. It doesn't have anything empowering, create personal connection or motivation. To have those important pieces, the why behind the resolution needs to be involved. Without a why, a reason, it's just a thought. There needs to be kindling for the fire, gunpowder for the gun, a spark for the engine. You get it.
Solution: Address the why. It should come from something that creates pleasure or addresses a fear or source of or pain.
Why pleasure, fear and pain?
These are the most powerful motivators. They can make you take action. And stay in action.
For this example, the reasons to go to the gym, eat healthy and lose weight may be numerous but obvious.
- They once liked physical exercise and haven't done it in a while (pleasure)
- Want to find a new style of workout that's fun (pleasure)
- Can't fit into the clothes they want (fear/pain)
- Saw a picture and didn't like it (fear/pain)
- Feel uncomfortable in their own skin (fear/pain)
- Don't like the image in the mirror (fear/pain)
- Stepped on the scale and it was higher then they expected (fear/pain)
- They don't feel good about themselves, have high self confidence or feel sexy (fear/pain)
"I don't feel sexy" may be the reason to walk into the gym, but probably not continue day after day. Dig deeper. Why does that matter?
"I don't feel sexy and if I'm not sexy, I won't have self confidence and won't meet people, no one will date me and I'll be alone."
That's a real fear. That's a painful emotion.
That's a reason for a resolution, a reason to take action. It's a motivator that can be used to stay in action. If you choose to use it that way.
Assess and facing your fears can be hard to do. You become vulnerable. But you also become powerful. You develop your power to choose to use your fear or pain constructively or destructively. When you face a fear and conquer it (temporarily or permanently) you'll feel a sense of accomplishment and pride.
Problem 2: The resolution, reason for it and actions needed to accomplish it need to be clearly defined. People confuse going to the gym, and eating healthy with their actual resolution, to feel good about themselves, have confidence and feel sexy. Going to the gym and eating well is just the vehicle, the action steps, to fulfill their resolution. It's how they will lose weight, gain confidence and feel sexy.
Solution: Clearly define the resolution, to feel good about themselves gain confidence and feel sexy; the reason, because currently there's low self confidence and don't feel sexy, and the actions that will power the resolution, going to the gym, eating well and losing weight.
The really important part of creating a resolution is building it clearly and properly. Find the real reason for the resolution. The pleasure you get, or pain you feel from not having it or fear you have if it doesn't happen. Then clearly define the resolution, the reason for it and the actions needed to accomplish it.
If you want accountability on your resolution, to be supported in achieving it by a group of other committed people and to make real changes in 2017, click below to contact us for a free consultation.